The last couple of days have been very busy and that is set to continue all the way through to Monday, when I will probably still be busy, only a bit less. So sorry for no writing. Can't wait for tomorrow!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYLEIGH
Saturday, 31 October 2009
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Islands
The xx - wow! Sure, they made a couple of mistakes towards the start, but they sound so much better live. Definitely one of my favourite bands of this year. I have tentatively decided on zombie Matt Bellamy to dress up as for halloween. I don't know how I'll manage that though...
I don't have to leave anymore
What I have is right here
Spend my nights and days before
Searching the world for what's right here
Underneath and unexplored
Islands and cities I have looked
Here I saw
Something I couldn't overlook
I am yours now
So now I don't ever have to leave
I've been found out
So now I'll never explore
See what I've done
That bridge is on fire
Going back to where I've been
I'm froze by desire
No need to leave
Where would I be
If this were to go under
That's a risk I'd take
I'm froze by desire
As if a choice I'd make
I am yours now
So now I don't ever have to leave
I've been found out
So now I'll never explore
I don't have to leave anymore
What I have is right here
Spend my nights and days before
Searching the world for what's right here
Underneath and unexplored
Islands and cities I have looked
Here I saw
Something I couldn't overlook
I am yours now
So now I don't ever have to leave
I've been found out
So now I'll never explore
See what I've done
That bridge is on fire
Going back to where I've been
I'm froze by desire
No need to leave
Where would I be
If this were to go under
That's a risk I'd take
I'm froze by desire
As if a choice I'd make
I am yours now
So now I don't ever have to leave
I've been found out
So now I'll never explore
Tuesday, 27 October 2009
Halloween
I am damn excited for it now, my parents are letting me have people round. I still don't know what to be though, I even considered Ash Ketchum this morning. I wish pokémon was real, it'd be awesome! Team Rocket would get incredibly annoying though. My room is in need of a thorough cleaning for Saturday, at the moment it is a couple of crumbs short of disgusting. I expect I'll do that eventually, probably at the last minute...
I'm seeing The xx today!
I'm seeing The xx today!
Story 5
It's odd how when I have a lot of things to think about, I write less about them.
On a completely unrelated topic, if you want to experience something similar to a hangover without actually drinking then go to a LAN party! Fucking hell.
Seeing as I don't really know what else to write, have some more recycled creative writing.
Five: Parting
“I’ll come,” I said quietly. She turned around quickly and stuttered “W-what?!” She didn’t seem to believe what she was hearing. “I said I’ll come.” I repeated, slightly louder. With that, a grin slowly spread across her slender face and she said “Well come on then! What you waiting for?” I walked up to her warily. I had never travelled much further than Bournemouth before and I had no idea what was going to happen to the both of us. She took my hand and led me along the sand. When we got to the edge of the cliff blocking the alcove off from the rest of the beach Ella simply turned and flew out over the dark water, hovering an inch or so above it. I had to follow suit or get wet. Naturally I chose the former. We reached the other side of the cliff face and stepped out onto the sand again. It was at this point I remembered Sarah.
I must have forgotten about her, what with Ella and the flying. I turned to look at Ella, wondering what to do, or indeed what to say. My thoughts were still fairly mixed up and I managed to mutter “Err... Wait here. I’ll be right back...” before running off over the sand towards the cliff. When I reached the cliff I looked back to check on her. She was watching me with her big blue eyes, but she didn’t seem to mind my sudden departure. She was standing perfectly still in the spot where I had left her. Oddly enough, it even seemed to me like she was waiting for my return. I turned back to the rocky cliff face before I got too mesmerised by those eyes and was about to start climbing when I remembered. I could fly. I began to feel the air flowing past my hands almost as soon as I had the thought. I was getting really good at this. I started to hover at a comfortable pace straight up next to the rock. It felt different this time though. Somehow flying wasn’t as exciting without Ella by my side.
I got to the top of the cliff and looked back again, expecting Ella to have at least moved. But she looked the same as before, seemingly fixed in position. I shook my head and turned back to the cliff top path in front of me. Beyond where it ended, lights from houses twinkled gently in the distance. They seemed to be a long way away. With this in mind, I started off down the bumpy path at a quick pace. After about 10 minutes I reached the end of the path and turned onto the main road, leading into the outskirts of the city. I passed by ornaments of my home on the pavement; an old lamppost here, a cracked sign there. I wouldn’t normally have paid attention to seemingly normal things like them, but I didn’t know how long I would be gone, or when I would see any of Bournemouth again. I hesitated. The adrenaline rush from before had dissipated a while ago, so I could think a lot more clearly. Could I really trust Ella? Besides that, what about Sarah? Would she be alright without me? Come to think of it, would I be alright without her? I was filled with uncertainty. I couldn’t just abandon my home of fifteen years. Or could I? I hadn’t led a very interesting life at all so far, and I’d pretty much achieved bugger all in Bournemouth. There was a part of me, a small part of me, which yearned for adventure.
My mind was so occupied with all these questions that I didn’t notice when I walked up in front of my own house. Sarah and I lived in a little cottage in a quiet part of the town, liking to keep to ourselves. It was a nice little cottage, with a picket fence and a messy, unkempt lawn. Sarah liked it that way. So did I. I walked up to the front door, painted a plain white. I raised my hand to knock, but then considered otherwise. It was very dark by now, and I checked my watch. It read twenty to ten. Sarah was probably asleep by now, she liked her early nights. She was used to me being back late and she didn’t seem too bothered by this fact. She just trusted me, I suppose. I was very grateful for this, and felt guilty about leaving her. I rummaged around in my long coat pockets for my keys. They always proved a challenge to find at the best of times, and this was why I usually knocked. I eventually managed to find them, and entered the house as quietly as I could. The lights were all off; as I suspected, Sarah must be asleep. Sure enough, I could hear faint snoring from upstairs. I walked down the hallway to the small kitchen. Unlike the garden the kitchen was pretty tidy, aside from a few bits and pieces scattered around the room. I turned the light on and found a scrap of paper and a pen on the side. I scribbled a short note, hoping Sarah would understand:
“I’ve gone away for a while.
I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I definitely will be, one day.
Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright.
See you soon, much love,
Alex”
I folded it and put it where she would see it, and crept out of the house, as quietly as I’d entered.
I flew as fast as I could back to the cliff. The night wind chilled me to the bone and swept the tears from my face. I felt absolutely terrible about what I’d just done. But I couldn’t turn back. Not now. However, I silently promised myself I would return one day. I had to. I floated gently down to the beach and looked up to see Ella, still waiting for me in exactly the same place. She glanced up at me as I approached her, and smiled. “Sorry about that...” I said, my voice cracking with emotion and my eyes tearful. Ella didn’t say a word. She just took my hand gently and led me away from the waves towards the grass at the bottom of the cliff. There she lay me down on the ground, with her lying next to me. She looked at me in silence, our faces mere inches away from each other. Slowly she wrapped her arms around me, and embraced me. I felt her warmth, and held her. All the grief and remorse within me slowly sapped away and I was finally at peace. We fell asleep like that, in each other’s arms, under a blanket of shining stars. She didn’t even say a single word.
On a completely unrelated topic, if you want to experience something similar to a hangover without actually drinking then go to a LAN party! Fucking hell.
Seeing as I don't really know what else to write, have some more recycled creative writing.
Five: Parting
“I’ll come,” I said quietly. She turned around quickly and stuttered “W-what?!” She didn’t seem to believe what she was hearing. “I said I’ll come.” I repeated, slightly louder. With that, a grin slowly spread across her slender face and she said “Well come on then! What you waiting for?” I walked up to her warily. I had never travelled much further than Bournemouth before and I had no idea what was going to happen to the both of us. She took my hand and led me along the sand. When we got to the edge of the cliff blocking the alcove off from the rest of the beach Ella simply turned and flew out over the dark water, hovering an inch or so above it. I had to follow suit or get wet. Naturally I chose the former. We reached the other side of the cliff face and stepped out onto the sand again. It was at this point I remembered Sarah.
I must have forgotten about her, what with Ella and the flying. I turned to look at Ella, wondering what to do, or indeed what to say. My thoughts were still fairly mixed up and I managed to mutter “Err... Wait here. I’ll be right back...” before running off over the sand towards the cliff. When I reached the cliff I looked back to check on her. She was watching me with her big blue eyes, but she didn’t seem to mind my sudden departure. She was standing perfectly still in the spot where I had left her. Oddly enough, it even seemed to me like she was waiting for my return. I turned back to the rocky cliff face before I got too mesmerised by those eyes and was about to start climbing when I remembered. I could fly. I began to feel the air flowing past my hands almost as soon as I had the thought. I was getting really good at this. I started to hover at a comfortable pace straight up next to the rock. It felt different this time though. Somehow flying wasn’t as exciting without Ella by my side.
I got to the top of the cliff and looked back again, expecting Ella to have at least moved. But she looked the same as before, seemingly fixed in position. I shook my head and turned back to the cliff top path in front of me. Beyond where it ended, lights from houses twinkled gently in the distance. They seemed to be a long way away. With this in mind, I started off down the bumpy path at a quick pace. After about 10 minutes I reached the end of the path and turned onto the main road, leading into the outskirts of the city. I passed by ornaments of my home on the pavement; an old lamppost here, a cracked sign there. I wouldn’t normally have paid attention to seemingly normal things like them, but I didn’t know how long I would be gone, or when I would see any of Bournemouth again. I hesitated. The adrenaline rush from before had dissipated a while ago, so I could think a lot more clearly. Could I really trust Ella? Besides that, what about Sarah? Would she be alright without me? Come to think of it, would I be alright without her? I was filled with uncertainty. I couldn’t just abandon my home of fifteen years. Or could I? I hadn’t led a very interesting life at all so far, and I’d pretty much achieved bugger all in Bournemouth. There was a part of me, a small part of me, which yearned for adventure.
My mind was so occupied with all these questions that I didn’t notice when I walked up in front of my own house. Sarah and I lived in a little cottage in a quiet part of the town, liking to keep to ourselves. It was a nice little cottage, with a picket fence and a messy, unkempt lawn. Sarah liked it that way. So did I. I walked up to the front door, painted a plain white. I raised my hand to knock, but then considered otherwise. It was very dark by now, and I checked my watch. It read twenty to ten. Sarah was probably asleep by now, she liked her early nights. She was used to me being back late and she didn’t seem too bothered by this fact. She just trusted me, I suppose. I was very grateful for this, and felt guilty about leaving her. I rummaged around in my long coat pockets for my keys. They always proved a challenge to find at the best of times, and this was why I usually knocked. I eventually managed to find them, and entered the house as quietly as I could. The lights were all off; as I suspected, Sarah must be asleep. Sure enough, I could hear faint snoring from upstairs. I walked down the hallway to the small kitchen. Unlike the garden the kitchen was pretty tidy, aside from a few bits and pieces scattered around the room. I turned the light on and found a scrap of paper and a pen on the side. I scribbled a short note, hoping Sarah would understand:
“I’ve gone away for a while.
I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I definitely will be, one day.
Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright.
See you soon, much love,
Alex”
I folded it and put it where she would see it, and crept out of the house, as quietly as I’d entered.
I flew as fast as I could back to the cliff. The night wind chilled me to the bone and swept the tears from my face. I felt absolutely terrible about what I’d just done. But I couldn’t turn back. Not now. However, I silently promised myself I would return one day. I had to. I floated gently down to the beach and looked up to see Ella, still waiting for me in exactly the same place. She glanced up at me as I approached her, and smiled. “Sorry about that...” I said, my voice cracking with emotion and my eyes tearful. Ella didn’t say a word. She just took my hand gently and led me away from the waves towards the grass at the bottom of the cliff. There she lay me down on the ground, with her lying next to me. She looked at me in silence, our faces mere inches away from each other. Slowly she wrapped her arms around me, and embraced me. I felt her warmth, and held her. All the grief and remorse within me slowly sapped away and I was finally at peace. We fell asleep like that, in each other’s arms, under a blanket of shining stars. She didn’t even say a single word.
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Fuck You
What kind of sick and twisted person would fake his own death to his best friends and then reappear a week later to say "sorry guys, I was just kidding". Seriously?! Apparently Steve's reasoning for faking his own death to all of us was to "collect information". Why the fuck? What an attention whore. Whatever "information" he collects, I hope he realises how damaging his "death" was to us. Some of the people closer to him were in a constant state of depression so bad that I didn't even recognise it (despite being quite sensitive myself) and who knows if they caused further damage to themselves? I suppose the only thing that I have gained from it is that I know the kind of thing to expect in future when someone actually dies. I could go on more, but this is one of the most horrible things I have had to write about and so I don't particularly want to.
I am listening to Florence + the Machine. I never knew she was so good.
I am listening to Florence + the Machine. I never knew she was so good.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Steven Nethery, R.I.P.
Sorry there hasn't been anything new for a few days (nothing has happened to me, I'm still here) but I haven't really had much to write about, let alone wanted to write anything. I hate to use it as an excuse for me not writing, but I think the events of last weekend are still affecting me a great deal. It suddenly hit me earlier on in the week that Steven is gone forever and there is no way of bringing him back. When the wave of reality passed over me I was almost reduced to tears, but luckily I managed to stop myself breaking down right in the middle of college. Since then I have recovered a bit and I no longer feel hopelessly depressed, I suppose I didn't know him that well (although I wish I did) so I'm getting over it faster than others. However I still think about him a lot and it still affects me greatly, I feel apathetic about everything often and I am constantly tired. The only way I seem to be able to be happy right now is if I briefly forget about it, but that's quite hard to do. I have been listening to the (relatively new) Radiohead song Harry Patch (In Memory of) a lot recently. They wrote it for the last surviving WW1 veteran, Harry Patch, who passed away recently. It is a beautiful tribute and although it was originally meant to be for someone else I would like to personally dedicate it to our friend, Steven Nethery.
Radiohead - Harry Patch (In Memory of)
I decided to look through my father's Jools Holland DVD yesterday and found to my delight that I actually knew and liked a lot of the bands on there (the last time I watched it I knew hardly any of them). One of the bands was The Libertines performing Up the Bracket and this inspired me to listen to The Libertines again, as I hadn't for quite a long time (even though I quite like them). I got through all the songs that I have by them and found that I liked them even more than before I watched them on the DVD. This got me thinking about the past as The Libertines broke up over 5 years ago but I would have really loved to see them live (this also seems to happen to me with a lot of other bands that I like). If I had been born about 10 years earlier than when I was then I would have grown up surrounded by my favourite bands! I really wish I could time travel but only to go back in time, I don't want to spoil the future for myself (the past would be so much better anyway). Seeing as I am so lovely I have found The Libertines' performance on the intarwebs for you to view at your convenience:
I have also been listening to Coldplay again this week for the first time in ages (I don't know why but I suddenly decided I should) and I found that they aren't as bad as I thought they were. I used to really like them but I got very bored of them after a while (also Chris Martin gets on my nerves quite a lot). After listening to them again this week I have decided that they aren't anywhere near as good as people say they are (seems obvious to me) but despite this some of their songs are brilliant. So I like Coldplay again, which I didn't really see coming. Wolfmother have a new album! I have been listening to that these last couple of days as well, it is deliciously heavy. It's been a long wait (their last album came out in 2005 for raptorjesus' sake) but I am so glad they are back.
Radiohead - Harry Patch (In Memory of)
I decided to look through my father's Jools Holland DVD yesterday and found to my delight that I actually knew and liked a lot of the bands on there (the last time I watched it I knew hardly any of them). One of the bands was The Libertines performing Up the Bracket and this inspired me to listen to The Libertines again, as I hadn't for quite a long time (even though I quite like them). I got through all the songs that I have by them and found that I liked them even more than before I watched them on the DVD. This got me thinking about the past as The Libertines broke up over 5 years ago but I would have really loved to see them live (this also seems to happen to me with a lot of other bands that I like). If I had been born about 10 years earlier than when I was then I would have grown up surrounded by my favourite bands! I really wish I could time travel but only to go back in time, I don't want to spoil the future for myself (the past would be so much better anyway). Seeing as I am so lovely I have found The Libertines' performance on the intarwebs for you to view at your convenience:
I have also been listening to Coldplay again this week for the first time in ages (I don't know why but I suddenly decided I should) and I found that they aren't as bad as I thought they were. I used to really like them but I got very bored of them after a while (also Chris Martin gets on my nerves quite a lot). After listening to them again this week I have decided that they aren't anywhere near as good as people say they are (seems obvious to me) but despite this some of their songs are brilliant. So I like Coldplay again, which I didn't really see coming. Wolfmother have a new album! I have been listening to that these last couple of days as well, it is deliciously heavy. It's been a long wait (their last album came out in 2005 for raptorjesus' sake) but I am so glad they are back.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Death
"There's no colour and no sound
In black and white town
I've been ten feet underground
In black and white town" - Doves
Yesterday was the best day I have had for a while, I saw so many epic people (some of which I hardly ever see, hell I even met a few new people). I was hardly home at all yesterday, just out having lots of fun, something I need to do more often.
Something terrible happened today, it was such a big thing that nothing that happened yesterday really matters. Everything has been put into perspective for me but despite this I do not know how to feel. Steve (from #cranbaux) was shot by burglars in his home. His body was found today. Nothing like this has happened to me before, I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say. How does one react to death anyway? I wasn't even that close to the poor guy but I still feel deeply saddened by the news. I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel for those that were close to him, some of whom are my fellow IRC friends.
I'll admit I have a lot of problems with myself and my relationships with those around me. But those just seem completely irrelevant now, how could those matter in the slightest when my friends could suddenly not be around anymore? People forget how fragile life is and I know I'll never take it for granted ever again. My friends too, I'm determined to let them know how brilliant they are and how much they mean to me and never lose sight of that myself. I know what has happened, but my mind refuses to believe it. It's something which has never come this close to me before, death. It's only now that its ugly head is reared right up in front of me that I realise how terrifying and horrible death is.
It's going to be hard for all of us to get through this, you will be missed by all. Rest in peace Steve, we will never forget you.
In black and white town
I've been ten feet underground
In black and white town" - Doves
Yesterday was the best day I have had for a while, I saw so many epic people (some of which I hardly ever see, hell I even met a few new people). I was hardly home at all yesterday, just out having lots of fun, something I need to do more often.
Something terrible happened today, it was such a big thing that nothing that happened yesterday really matters. Everything has been put into perspective for me but despite this I do not know how to feel. Steve (from #cranbaux) was shot by burglars in his home. His body was found today. Nothing like this has happened to me before, I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say. How does one react to death anyway? I wasn't even that close to the poor guy but I still feel deeply saddened by the news. I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel for those that were close to him, some of whom are my fellow IRC friends.
I'll admit I have a lot of problems with myself and my relationships with those around me. But those just seem completely irrelevant now, how could those matter in the slightest when my friends could suddenly not be around anymore? People forget how fragile life is and I know I'll never take it for granted ever again. My friends too, I'm determined to let them know how brilliant they are and how much they mean to me and never lose sight of that myself. I know what has happened, but my mind refuses to believe it. It's something which has never come this close to me before, death. It's only now that its ugly head is reared right up in front of me that I realise how terrifying and horrible death is.
It's going to be hard for all of us to get through this, you will be missed by all. Rest in peace Steve, we will never forget you.
Saturday, 17 October 2009
Poetry
I tried my hand at some poetry today. What do you think?
How could I tell you how much I love you
When I love you more than words could say?
And how could I tell you how much I need you?
When I would be so lost without you that I wouldn’t know where to turn
Before you came and cared for me I was a shadow of a man
But with your love I am stronger where I stand
I am proud to be yours, my lover, my best friend
You are the one I share everything with
My love for you will never end.
How could I tell you how much I love you
When I love you more than words could say?
And how could I tell you how much I need you?
When I would be so lost without you that I wouldn’t know where to turn
Before you came and cared for me I was a shadow of a man
But with your love I am stronger where I stand
I am proud to be yours, my lover, my best friend
You are the one I share everything with
My love for you will never end.
Friday, 16 October 2009
Story 4
As I said earlier, here is part 4 of the story. In case you've all forgotten what the fucks been going on (I know it's been a while) here are links to the first three parts: Part 1, 2 and 3.
Four: Sunset
Ella and I flew and flew, the landscape flowing below us, with the waves cresting and falling under a pale blue sky. We held hands and spun each other round until we both got dizzy, stupid grins across our silly faces. Everything felt right. I got better and better, and I was soon able to keep up with Ella’s speed all on my own. She smiled at me from across the sky and mimicked applause. She flew across and clung onto my back; I looked back at her in surprise. She gave me a knowing smile and I felt her soft breath in my ear, “Take me faster, Alex. I want to see what you can do...” I looked back at her again in slight disbelief, but she simply gave me that same look, watching me intently. I turned my head round again and started to increase my speed. I felt the air currents rushing along the lengths of our bodies as we got faster and faster. My heart was racing, but when I looked back to check on Ella she seemed not to notice our by now ridiculous speed. She whispered again, “Good boy, now take me down.” I complied and took a large arc around to the beach, descending slowly.
We landed gently on the soft sand and Ella jumped off my back. I turned to face her. She gave me an encouraging smile and said “Well, that was certainly... impressive. I am proud of you Alex.” I replied, “Err, thanks. Y’know, for the whole teaching me to fly thing as well...” I was blushing as I mumbled this, but Ella’s smile only widened. “Don’t mention it, it was fun!” she exclaimed, grinning. Ella turned then and started skipping away across the sand, humming to herself. I simply stood there in wonderment at this frankly incredible girl who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. She turned back to me again when she realised I was still standing there. She looked a little puzzled and said “Aren’t you coming?” I looked back, slightly confused by this. She seemed to know what I was thinking. Then Ella said something which would change my life forever. “I’m going home. Want to come with me?”
I had no idea what ‘home’ meant for Ella. She looked anomalous wherever she went; or to put it more simply, she stuck out like a sore thumb. I guess this was another reason why I liked her. She was different, unique. I had never come across anything like her before, not even in dreams. I looked back at her in surprise, not quite knowing what to say. She looked at me expectantly, as if she was waiting for a certain response. I asked, hesitantly, “What... What happens if I don’t come with you?” She looked solemn then and replied “In that case... I suppose this is farewell...” She turned again and started walking away, not the happy skipping of before but a slow and gloomy walk. At that point in time, thoughts were flowing through my head as if they were liquid. I had so many questions to ask Ella, so many things left to do with her. There was no doubt for me that Ella was brilliant and the journey home with her seemed so tempting. Was it worth leaving my home for her? I had no idea to be honest, but everything about Ella compelled me to go on... I couldn’t think clearly at all. My pulse was racing from the flight and my thoughts were coming at me so fast I hardly had any time to put them into any sort of logical order. How could I say no to her, really? So that was how, on a winter’s day under a pink sunset on a Bournemouth beach, my life changed forever. I never looked back.
Four: Sunset
Ella and I flew and flew, the landscape flowing below us, with the waves cresting and falling under a pale blue sky. We held hands and spun each other round until we both got dizzy, stupid grins across our silly faces. Everything felt right. I got better and better, and I was soon able to keep up with Ella’s speed all on my own. She smiled at me from across the sky and mimicked applause. She flew across and clung onto my back; I looked back at her in surprise. She gave me a knowing smile and I felt her soft breath in my ear, “Take me faster, Alex. I want to see what you can do...” I looked back at her again in slight disbelief, but she simply gave me that same look, watching me intently. I turned my head round again and started to increase my speed. I felt the air currents rushing along the lengths of our bodies as we got faster and faster. My heart was racing, but when I looked back to check on Ella she seemed not to notice our by now ridiculous speed. She whispered again, “Good boy, now take me down.” I complied and took a large arc around to the beach, descending slowly.
We landed gently on the soft sand and Ella jumped off my back. I turned to face her. She gave me an encouraging smile and said “Well, that was certainly... impressive. I am proud of you Alex.” I replied, “Err, thanks. Y’know, for the whole teaching me to fly thing as well...” I was blushing as I mumbled this, but Ella’s smile only widened. “Don’t mention it, it was fun!” she exclaimed, grinning. Ella turned then and started skipping away across the sand, humming to herself. I simply stood there in wonderment at this frankly incredible girl who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. She turned back to me again when she realised I was still standing there. She looked a little puzzled and said “Aren’t you coming?” I looked back, slightly confused by this. She seemed to know what I was thinking. Then Ella said something which would change my life forever. “I’m going home. Want to come with me?”
I had no idea what ‘home’ meant for Ella. She looked anomalous wherever she went; or to put it more simply, she stuck out like a sore thumb. I guess this was another reason why I liked her. She was different, unique. I had never come across anything like her before, not even in dreams. I looked back at her in surprise, not quite knowing what to say. She looked at me expectantly, as if she was waiting for a certain response. I asked, hesitantly, “What... What happens if I don’t come with you?” She looked solemn then and replied “In that case... I suppose this is farewell...” She turned again and started walking away, not the happy skipping of before but a slow and gloomy walk. At that point in time, thoughts were flowing through my head as if they were liquid. I had so many questions to ask Ella, so many things left to do with her. There was no doubt for me that Ella was brilliant and the journey home with her seemed so tempting. Was it worth leaving my home for her? I had no idea to be honest, but everything about Ella compelled me to go on... I couldn’t think clearly at all. My pulse was racing from the flight and my thoughts were coming at me so fast I hardly had any time to put them into any sort of logical order. How could I say no to her, really? So that was how, on a winter’s day under a pink sunset on a Bournemouth beach, my life changed forever. I never looked back.
Thursday, 15 October 2009
EXCITING
I am getting gradually more and more excited about drawing perilously closer to the end of this year (I dunno about you guys, but mine's gone REALLY fast). You may be wondering why this would excite me so much but I actually get excited at about this time every year. For some reason I always get it into my head that the next year will be even better than the one just finishing (although this hardly ever happens). I get excited about all the new music that will be released and all the gigs I will go to, as well as all the new relationships I'll form with the people I'll meet. It is also a time for me to reflect on everything that has happened to me in the year that's just gone past. Despite usually being let down when the next year actually comes around, looking back this time 2009 has exceeded the norm. It's had it's major ups and downs but overall 2009 has been a good year for me (much better than usual). The end of this summer and the start of autumn have been particularly good, with the rest of autumn looking even better. I'm thinking of doing several blogs at the end of the year to go into my 2009 (as well as the exciting things in 2010) in more detail, which I'm quite excited about.
Another reason to be excited at this time of year is of course CHRISTMASSSSS. Only 71 days to go!
Yesterday Live Forever came on on the radio and as it is one of the only Oasis songs I really like I decided to give Definitely Maybe a try as it is meant to be ridiculously good (I already had it on my computer but I never really bothered with it). I discovered it is very good! I am amazed that I found an entire Oasis album that I really like, I mean I've always listened to What's the Story but I don't think it's exactly amazing or anything (shit is so overrated/overdone). I even learnt Rock 'n' Roll Star! (which by the way is also awesome) I had no idea Oasis were ever so good, it's a shame they lost their imagination and creative talent after that really. In my opinion they should have burnt out in spectacular fashion soon after the first album rather than ending the way that they did. Oh well, I can't rewrite history. I am still addicted to Björk, I have finally put all of her studio albums on the computer now and they are all amazing and totally distinctive from each other in their own unique way. I think I may be slightly in love with her (I'm allowed to have unconditional love for people like that, right?).
As you can see I am wearing my amazing new chullo, which is featured in all 7 photos. It is the warmest and softest thing I have ever known, seriously. Yes that is a 21st Century Breakdown (coincidentally one of my favourite albums of this year) poster in the second one, I am so damn cool (obviously).
The more observant among you may have noticed a change in my blog's appearance. This is because I got bored of the old one and I just generally felt like fucking around with the settings anyway. I like it a lot better, I hope you do too! I will put up some more creative writing later this evening. It will be part 4 of that story that some of you may have already started to read. I am doing this as I realise it has been a couple of weeks since I posted the last part of it, so I want to put up the next part before you all forget what happened...
Another reason to be excited at this time of year is of course CHRISTMASSSSS. Only 71 days to go!
Yesterday Live Forever came on on the radio and as it is one of the only Oasis songs I really like I decided to give Definitely Maybe a try as it is meant to be ridiculously good (I already had it on my computer but I never really bothered with it). I discovered it is very good! I am amazed that I found an entire Oasis album that I really like, I mean I've always listened to What's the Story but I don't think it's exactly amazing or anything (shit is so overrated/overdone). I even learnt Rock 'n' Roll Star! (which by the way is also awesome) I had no idea Oasis were ever so good, it's a shame they lost their imagination and creative talent after that really. In my opinion they should have burnt out in spectacular fashion soon after the first album rather than ending the way that they did. Oh well, I can't rewrite history. I am still addicted to Björk, I have finally put all of her studio albums on the computer now and they are all amazing and totally distinctive from each other in their own unique way. I think I may be slightly in love with her (I'm allowed to have unconditional love for people like that, right?).
Not to be egotistical or anything, but I took some pictures of myself yesterday for the first time in a while. What's even rarer is that I actually quite like them. I managed to produce 7 that I liked, of which 2 are shown below:
As you can see I am wearing my amazing new chullo, which is featured in all 7 photos. It is the warmest and softest thing I have ever known, seriously. Yes that is a 21st Century Breakdown (coincidentally one of my favourite albums of this year) poster in the second one, I am so damn cool (obviously).
The more observant among you may have noticed a change in my blog's appearance. This is because I got bored of the old one and I just generally felt like fucking around with the settings anyway. I like it a lot better, I hope you do too! I will put up some more creative writing later this evening. It will be part 4 of that story that some of you may have already started to read. I am doing this as I realise it has been a couple of weeks since I posted the last part of it, so I want to put up the next part before you all forget what happened...
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Always the summers are slipping away
As you may have figured out from the title of yesterday's post, I have been getting into Deadmau5 recently. He is an electronic music producer from Canada and the music he makes is very cool, lots of nice lush soundscapes. Listen to him if you haven't already, he's really good. I am currently listening to Porcupine Tree, they are a band that I listened to for a bit a long time ago but I never really got into them. However one of my friends at college went to see them the other day and it's kind of persuaded me to listen to them again, so here I am. They're a lot better than I remember actually, kind of really melodic but fairly heavy spaced out rock (if that makes any sense). Anyway listen to them as well, some of the songs I have are pretty darn good.
A mother sings a lullaby to a child
Sometime in the future the boy goes wild
And all his nerves are feeling some kind of energy
A walk in the woods and I will try
Something under the trees that made you cry
It's so erotic when your make up runs
A mother sings a lullaby to a child
Sometime in the future the boy goes wild
And all his nerves are feeling some kind of energy
A walk in the woods and I will try
Something under the trees that made you cry
It's so erotic when your make up runs
Monday, 12 October 2009
Ghosts 'n' Stuff
Today is the second (and far more important) anniversary. I feel very happy right now, that's all due to one person and she knows who she is.
I have been using IRC more and more over the last few weeks and it has gradually become an integral part of my everyday life. I am beginning to get to know the people who inhabit the place I call home within the internet well and there is a right mix of personalities there. It's odd that something like that can affect me so much (as well as several others) in quite a few ways.
IN OTHER NEWS LOOK WHAT ELISA FOUND TODAY ON THE INTARWEBS. That .gif pretty much sums me up. A small orange-pink crab that plays acoustic guitar. She also drew me this:
I doubt anyone will really understand the full meaning of this other than us two, but it is a lovely picture. I love you ridiculous amounts.
I have been using IRC more and more over the last few weeks and it has gradually become an integral part of my everyday life. I am beginning to get to know the people who inhabit the place I call home within the internet well and there is a right mix of personalities there. It's odd that something like that can affect me so much (as well as several others) in quite a few ways.
IN OTHER NEWS LOOK WHAT ELISA FOUND TODAY ON THE INTARWEBS. That .gif pretty much sums me up. A small orange-pink crab that plays acoustic guitar. She also drew me this:
I doubt anyone will really understand the full meaning of this other than us two, but it is a lovely picture. I love you ridiculous amounts.
Friday, 9 October 2009
I GOT A MOTHERFUCKING CHULLO
YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I FINALLY GOT ONE. IT LOOKS LIKE THIS:
ONLY IT IS BLACK AND HAS FUR ON IT. THAT WILL BE ALL FOR NOW.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
One month
That's right folks, it's been a whole month since I started this thing! It's been a fairly eventful month for me and I'd like to think that all those following this have enjoyed reading about me for an entire month (although I know I'm not exactly the most entertaining guy ever). I hope (against all of the odds) I have made a good impression of myself. I didn't think I'd keep it going this long, so well done me I guess (but I suppose my posts have been getting shorter recently...). Above all, thanks to everyone reading! You guys are the best.
I tried my luck at applying for jobs this evening, what a waste of time that was. The online application process (this probably applies to the traditional one as well) is so long and complicated and even the simplest of jobs require you not to make a mistake anywhere along the line. I realised that getting myself a job will be a lot harder than I originally thought and this depresses me a fair amount. I'm going to go out tomorrow and try handing out CVs around town, see if I have any luck. I am feeling very pessimistic about it though.
I am still feeling totally rubbish so I can't be bothered to write more, although I will say that another, even more important, anniversary is coming up soon.
I tried my luck at applying for jobs this evening, what a waste of time that was. The online application process (this probably applies to the traditional one as well) is so long and complicated and even the simplest of jobs require you not to make a mistake anywhere along the line. I realised that getting myself a job will be a lot harder than I originally thought and this depresses me a fair amount. I'm going to go out tomorrow and try handing out CVs around town, see if I have any luck. I am feeling very pessimistic about it though.
I am still feeling totally rubbish so I can't be bothered to write more, although I will say that another, even more important, anniversary is coming up soon.
Sick
I have suddenly become quite unwell with something flu-like today, so there will be no writing. Goodnight.
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but you're empty
Holding out your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm going blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability
Is hard enough for me
Take me away from this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start over again
Do you go to the country?
It isn't very far
There's people there who'll hurt you
Because of who you are
Your ears are full of their language
There's wisdom there you're sure
'Til the words start slurring
And you can't find the door
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm going blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability
Is hard enough for me
Take me away from this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start over again
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm going blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability
Is hard enough for me
Take me away from this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Do you feel like a chain store?
Practically floored
One of many zeros
Kicked around bored
Your ears are full but you're empty
Holding out your heart
To people who never really
Care how you are
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm going blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability
Is hard enough for me
Take me away from this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start over again
Do you go to the country?
It isn't very far
There's people there who'll hurt you
Because of who you are
Your ears are full of their language
There's wisdom there you're sure
'Til the words start slurring
And you can't find the door
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm going blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability
Is hard enough for me
Take me away from this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start over again
So give me Coffee and TV
History
I've seen so much
I'm going blind
And I'm braindead virtually
Sociability
Is hard enough for me
Take me away from this big bad world
And agree to marry me
So we can start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Oh... we could start over again
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
boringpost
I haven't got much to say today other than I HAD MY LAST EVER ORTHODONTIST APPOINTMENT TODAY FUCK YES NO MORE TOOTH PAIN EVER AGAIN WOO (!!!!!1exclamation mark).
Another thing. I have a scarf on top of my laptop screen, the ends are draped down the sides (kind of like it's framing the screen). Thanks for that Elisa, I honestly do not know what I would do without you.
Only a few weeks until I see the xx again!
Another thing. I have a scarf on top of my laptop screen, the ends are draped down the sides (kind of like it's framing the screen). Thanks for that Elisa, I honestly do not know what I would do without you.
Only a few weeks until I see the xx again!
Monday, 5 October 2009
#25
Quote of the Day - "In a heart full of dust lives a creature called lust; it surprises and scares, like me, like me" - Björk
Sorry I haven't been blogging as regularly as usual, I've had quite a busy weekend. I think I need to start doing more of my homework during the week, I have literally spent hours just working today. It gets a bit depressing after a while and I don't think my brain can work properly for that long, it just plain sucks really. My vision went blurry after taekwondo today, it was like what the fuck. My head was also very painful and I am still suffering from a splitting headache right now. I have no idea why...
My mother cleaned my room a bit yesterday. It looked so weird, I'm so used to it being dirty all the time. On my pillow she had put my childhood teddy bear. I don't know where she found it, I haven't seen the thing in years. It's really small and kinda scrappy, but I loved that damn thing. In fact, I'm only a little bit ashamed to say that I still do.
I am still in love! I do not know how this has happened or how it has managed to last this long already, it's ridiculous. Yet we somehow become closer all the time. I even did some of her homework for her today. The things I'll do for love...
I really really want to do some more creative writing of some kind but I keep not finding enough time. I don't know whether I will continue the long (ish) story I was doing, it's kind of old. I can't remember if I mentioned this already but there are seven parts already in existence, which will probably all appear on here eventually. I want to write a poem or just a short story or a skit or ANYTHING. Even a new song could happen. Raptorjesus knows I haven't tried anything like that for ages. My songs always end up sounding like pieces of shit, so I gave up a while ago.
I should probably sleep, I'm going to hate myself in the morning. I have been listening to Eminem recently (my favourite is Stan), I was surprised rap music could be so clever.
Sorry I haven't been blogging as regularly as usual, I've had quite a busy weekend. I think I need to start doing more of my homework during the week, I have literally spent hours just working today. It gets a bit depressing after a while and I don't think my brain can work properly for that long, it just plain sucks really. My vision went blurry after taekwondo today, it was like what the fuck. My head was also very painful and I am still suffering from a splitting headache right now. I have no idea why...
My mother cleaned my room a bit yesterday. It looked so weird, I'm so used to it being dirty all the time. On my pillow she had put my childhood teddy bear. I don't know where she found it, I haven't seen the thing in years. It's really small and kinda scrappy, but I loved that damn thing. In fact, I'm only a little bit ashamed to say that I still do.
I am still in love! I do not know how this has happened or how it has managed to last this long already, it's ridiculous. Yet we somehow become closer all the time. I even did some of her homework for her today. The things I'll do for love...
I really really want to do some more creative writing of some kind but I keep not finding enough time. I don't know whether I will continue the long (ish) story I was doing, it's kind of old. I can't remember if I mentioned this already but there are seven parts already in existence, which will probably all appear on here eventually. I want to write a poem or just a short story or a skit or ANYTHING. Even a new song could happen. Raptorjesus knows I haven't tried anything like that for ages. My songs always end up sounding like pieces of shit, so I gave up a while ago.
I should probably sleep, I'm going to hate myself in the morning. I have been listening to Eminem recently (my favourite is Stan), I was surprised rap music could be so clever.
Friday, 2 October 2009
OW MY FUCKING KNEE
OH MY GOD I DIDN'T DO A POST YESTERDAY THE WORLD MUST SURELY END. I decided that I wouldn't make myself do a post every day from now on if I don't want to, its a pain in the arse when I really don't want to write.
AAAA FUCK MY FUCKING KNEE IT'S LIKE ON FIRE OR SOMETHING FUUUUUUUUUUU-
Tom gave me a biscuit today and told me to write it here, so THERE YOU GO TOM. Happy now?
I LOVE YOU ELISA.
That will be all.
edit: WAAAA WE ARE IN OCTOBER ALREADY WTF
AAAA FUCK MY FUCKING KNEE IT'S LIKE ON FIRE OR SOMETHING FUUUUUUUUUUU-
Tom gave me a biscuit today and told me to write it here, so THERE YOU GO TOM. Happy now?
I LOVE YOU ELISA.
That will be all.
edit: WAAAA WE ARE IN OCTOBER ALREADY WTF
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
